Every Christmas we get family pictures done. With losing the weight that I have I was excited and truly enjoyed myself. Of course I'm still on my weight loss journey but losing 24 lbs does a lot to boost your self image.
The pictures are lovely and I know that not only do we all look good, but I felt good.
My mom and step-dad came down for the holidays and I was glad to hear they noticed my weight loss and that my grandpa noticed in the pictures. My mom has always been slim and although I was never large, next to her I was and it always bothered me. After gaining so much weight with my first and not losing it, I became very depressed about my weight and usually ignored such feelings. I'd rationalize my larger size with "Well I'm not really that big" or "My husband loves me the way I am". However, now that I've lost some weight and realize how much happier I am, I realize that such thoughts/ denials/ delusions weren't good for me.
I believe that I hated my body for being big, and I closing my eyes to my size. That it wasn't my fault because I gained it during pregnancy. I hadn't overeaten or binged or the such... I simply had a child. Another component to my maintence of a larger weight (I think) was that I didn't know how to work out. Both my parents are healthy weights, my mom is very small and never exercises and my dad is naturally athletic and lean.
I grew up with my mom and did a few sports as a child (swimming, dance) but no "sports". I maintained a normal size and it wasn't until I put on some weight during college and than with pregnancy that I realized I had no idea how to get back to my small size.
I took me years to examine myself and my life, to finally see that I wasn't truly happy within myself and that it was the time to do the work required; to get serious! I mentally prepared myself for the time it would take, the food I needed to concentrate on eating, and to work very very hard.
The rewards are worth all the effort, and it the scheme of things doesn't take a lot of time. I just wish I could mentally give people that need, the motivation and belief in themselves that they need to accomplish their goals.
Worth it. 2013
Shannon
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