Starting...

I didn't do my exercise yesterday and I've been feeling very guilty. I've discovered it's much harder to something than to do nothing. I don't want to get up and exercise I want to sit on my butt and do nothing. So when I was thinking of exercising today I thought about how guilty I felt, and how I didn't want to let two days go by. I looked up a friend from youtube and facebook that was my big motivation to just do this. She's my bodytype and weight about as much as me. She lost 36 lbs with P90X and looks amazing. I desperately want that, I want to lose that weight and look like she does. She's happy and excited.
Because I was sick I recalculated my day of finishing on Shaelyn's birthday, which is keeping me motivated along with a dress I bought a long time ago.
The Dress. It's like a physical representation of my physical failure. When I was 16 or 17 my uncle was getting married. So my mom and I went out to buy me a dress to wear at the wedding. When I came out of the dressing room, the sales guy said I looked so sexy and I felt it! My mom didn't really approve because it was short and had thin straps but the feeling I got was too good to not buy it. I didn't end up wearing it because it wasn't really appropriate for the wedding but since then it's remained in my closet. (Not it's not the type that goes out of fashion) Occasionally I use to pull it out and try it on to see if I wanted to wear it. Before I had Shaelyn I was too shy to wear it out, and after I had my daughter... When I put it on for the first time, the reality of what my body now looked like hit me like a semi. I looked like Santa in a tub top. An exaggeration, but my tummy rolls were rolling over my underwear and my arms had fat I didn't know about and my thighs and butt was lifting the hem way too high. Since that scarring moment I have yet to put that dress on, but I can't get rid of it because it's my Mount Everest. I want to wear it, because I never did, and I want to look good in it.
So I can say Day 1 finished and I will keep pushing play because I will get into that dress and I want to day I lost ... lbs.