Confrontations

Why am I such a girl?!
Whenever I have to confront someone about something they're doing wrong, or I'm really grouchy and I jump off the handle, I end up crying. Doesn't make as convincing and argument when I'm sobbing my points or break down. It's so frustrating.

We're presently living with my brothers in my mom's home. She was transferred to another city and we're in charge of the house. As with any shared living arrangments, we butt heads.
Our biggest problems at the moment are:
- Their friends call all the time and at bad times
- Free access to phone, internet, and occasional our TV
- They do the minimal amount of work possible
- (I think) Jealousy at their freedom
- Having the responsibility of caring for the inside and outside of the house without their help

My brother made a hurtful (because it's true) remark about "What are you doing the day other than looking after your kids?" See previous post about the worth of housewives.
1. I know I don't have a "job", but does that mean I should be draining and cleaning the pond that I asked you a month ago to do and the ONLY thing I've asked you to do outside!!! GRRR.
2. I know my kids are loud, I have 2 of them and they're 5 and 19mths. Yes I have to yell at them to stop doing bad things or stop the oldest from doing something they're not. Stop being a backseat parent and recognize the situation.
3. No you are not only looking after the dog. Also, stop thinking my husband's being mean to him
4. You are a slob who's to lazy to clean up or take care to be clean in the kitchen(s) or bar-b-que
(a) Clean up the messes you make
(b) Respect others stuff

Fighting does nothing but make me hurt and angry. It brings up the worse points about yourself that smart people are usually aware of and wish they could change. It also demeans what the other person actually does and all the good they do accomplish.

He mowed the lawn last week, did our dishes when I asked him to, plays with the girls, lets Cody share his room and keeps downstairs clean (relatively).

As much as we wish we had the whole house to ourselves so we don't have to deal with other people in our space, we don't need the downstairs and we need the rent. If anyone has any suggestions how to make living easier, please share