Weight: 174.4
No School today.
So first off I know why I gained. I was super tired last night at like 6:30 so I was cuddled in bed and when my little one came in and said good night, I couldn't fall asleep.
So when hubby came to bed I moved to the couch, but couldn't fall asleep. I was fighting food cravings, trying to say "It's fine you can have it tomorrow" "You want to see the loss tomorrow". Well I couldn't convince myself, so I started with veggies and dip "If I'm gonna snack be healthy, and maybe that will be enough", I actually really wanted pretzel chips and dip. Which I ended having, along with a few handfuls of jalapeno chips left from Hubby's football night.
Not terrible, and I haven't snacked late at night since before I started my journey.
I did really want to lose and I know it's all because of this. I had been amazing all day.
I'm sharing this because the point I want to make, is that one of the best ways to help in weightloss is to actually go to bed! I have been consistently going to bed at 9 at night. I use to stay up till 12 and I'm sure most nights I would have a snack. This helps me make my eating window smaller because I have dinner, hang out, then go to bed about 4/5 hours later.
Yesterday I went searching for my old weight loss numbers, I wanted to narrow down the timeframe.
I began my first weight loss on September 8th, 2012 at 204.
I dropped 9 lbs in a month, 195 lbs (October 5th, 2012) and
another 9 lbs in a month, 186 lbs (November 14th 2012).
It wasn't till February 1st 2013 I was down another 10, 176 lbs.
In April 2013 I was at 170 lb, this is the month I started a job and didn't have time to get to the gym.
Between July 2013 - December 2013 I believe I was down at 160 at some point. However, I don't have a log of it
In February 2014 I joined my trainer's new gym for their biggest loser type program and I was at 170/172 lbs in April 2014
January of 2014 I got a gym membership and I was going with my Sister-in-law for a couple of months, but I just ended falling off and stopped going.
I didn't keep track of my weight, until I weighed in around Christmas 2015 at 186 lbs.
Of course by September 15th, 2016 I was up to 197 lbs.
From exploring all my pictures, I find it interesting how well I was able to hide my weight or a better way of phrasing it, is that my face pictures usually hid it really well. I can look at a picture of me at
Main point of interest is how long it took me, 4 months to go from 195 to 176 the first time, but only 1 month this time.
I believe the reason for this is that I always believed that I was a good eater, and I was, but all I needed was to exercise. Now obviously I did lose the first time, but it was very slow.
This time I am intermittent fasting and cutting my calories, and I am not working out. Proving that it wasn't exercising that I needed to lose weight, it's my food.
Now I will be switching once I reach my goal weight, I will be increasing my calories to a normal amount 1200, and adding exercise (Walking, Yoga, Boot Camps, Strength) because I'll want to tone everything and offset the new amount of calories
I just find it very interesting that it's always stressed to eat right and work out. But if you want to lose weight, you should focus on that, and then work on building( "gaining" muscle) at least for me
I had lunch just after 12 and it was sliced potatoes, asparagus and 2 meatballs. Then I had some veggies and dip for a snack and only an orange at dinner time. I drank a lot of tea today, 3 teapots.
Friday, November 11, 2016
Three Weeks catch-up
Friday: 174.4
Saturday: 173.6
Sunday: 173.2
Monday: 172.4
Tuesday: 172
Wednesday: 171.1
Thursday: 170.1
Calories Eaten: 3375
= -4.3 lbs lost!
Friday: 170.1
Saturday: 170.1
Sunday: 170.4
Monday: 170
Tuesday: 169.4
Wednesday: 170.2
Thursday: 169
Calories Eaten: 5005
= -1.1
(Cheat weekend)
Friday: 168.8
Saturday: 168.9
Sunday: ?
Monday: 170.4
Tuesday: 171.2
Wednesday: 172.5
Thursday: 171.2
Calories Eaten: 7394
= + 3.6
I do have all my food logged, but being behind I won't bother putting it in. But here are the numbers.
I have already dropped down to 169.7 so I'm well on my way back to my plan.
I'm already excited to get back to loosing. I know I'm about half-way so I'm just going to keep trucking. I'm taking last week as a learning experience. It's crazy that a few days off plan can have such an impact! I had a couple of bad meals on each day on the weekend and now I'm hoping for a 4 pound loss to be on track. Frustrating
Saturday: 173.6
Sunday: 173.2
Monday: 172.4
Tuesday: 172
Wednesday: 171.1
Thursday: 170.1
Calories Eaten: 3375
= -4.3 lbs lost!
Friday: 170.1
Saturday: 170.1
Sunday: 170.4
Monday: 170
Tuesday: 169.4
Wednesday: 170.2
Thursday: 169
Calories Eaten: 5005
= -1.1
(Cheat weekend)
Friday: 168.8
Saturday: 168.9
Sunday: ?
Monday: 170.4
Tuesday: 171.2
Wednesday: 172.5
Thursday: 171.2
Calories Eaten: 7394
= + 3.6
I do have all my food logged, but being behind I won't bother putting it in. But here are the numbers.
I have already dropped down to 169.7 so I'm well on my way back to my plan.
I'm already excited to get back to loosing. I know I'm about half-way so I'm just going to keep trucking. I'm taking last week as a learning experience. It's crazy that a few days off plan can have such an impact! I had a couple of bad meals on each day on the weekend and now I'm hoping for a 4 pound loss to be on track. Frustrating
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Week Five
Day 29: Friday
Weight: 176 (-1.0)
I can't believe I lost another pound! I'm really surprised. For Lunch today I had a borscht with sour cream.
However, I began feeling hungry again so I decided to have some pretzel chips and taziki. But the I wanted more, so I decided to have another serving and treat myself to a cheat day. I also had 3 snack size mars bars. I hoped to only have 1 but the temptation was too much.
I planned I wouldn't have dinner because snack was at 3.
Surprise surprise, my sister-in-law called to take my husband and I to a hockey game. So I resisted the temptation to over-indulge. We got popcorn and they were giving away apples; I decided not to get any drinks.
Eating Period: 12 - 2:30, 7:00
Calories: 935 cal
Weight: 176
Day 30: Saturday
Weight: 176.3 (+0.3)
Oh well. It was actually helpful to see that even if I have more calories than I want. Because I'm already keeping track I still make good decisions.
I was off to work today so I packed for lunch an egg, orange, asparagus, and raspberries. I was able to drink only have half my coffee.
Hubby made dinner so I had only one sausage, carrots, and asparagus. Really wanted more though, SO YUMMY. I love sausages.
Then Kevin had a friend over so I munched while visiting. Mostly popcorn. Have to resist munching when I shouldn't.
Eating period: 11-7
Calories: 470 cal
Weight: 176.3
Day 31: Sunday
Weight: 176.2
Feeling annoyed about indulging because instead of loosing under 176, I'm having to work back down.I'm learning I guess.
Spent the day meal prepping. I made chili, pulled pork, coleslaw, and cut up fruit and veggies.
For lunch I really wanted eggs, so I had 2 poached eggs, 2 c spinach, and 1 c raspberries. It was amazing.
As I was prepping, mostly for the family I was calculating calories for myself and I was depressed that 1 cup of chili is 169 calories. So I'd likely want 2 cups= 338 grr. Then the pulled pork is 172 for half a cup. So much!
With that said though, I had a 1/4 c of the pork, 1 c of coleslaw, and 3 potato wedges. Here's hoping I lose tomorrow, if not we're back to the week so I'll stick to veggies.
Also of note, I've found Instagram incredibly encouraging and inspiring. So definitely get on it for weightloss journey stories
Eating Window: 12- 5
Calories: 394 cal
Weight: 176.2
Day 32: Monday
Weight: 175.6 (-0.6)
Super excited with the loss :) Working this afternoon so I had lunch at 12. Raspberries, spinach, poached eggs! OMG this is my favorite, I think I'd eat it all the time if it was a little less. Maybe when I'm maintaining.
Made some yummy blueberry muffins for the kids. Had one which are 132 cal not the best for me.
I rushed home and had a quick dinner before heading to a meeting. Coleslaw, sausage, orange.
At the meeting I was really good didn't have anything. I decided to pop in and see hubby at his Monday Night Football, where I decided to get some calamari which was bad but on top of it, hubby got me a drink. Oh well
Eating Window: 12-5, 730
Total Calories: 912
Day 33: Tuesday
Weight: 175.6 (-0)
Nada. Well I guess that's to be expected when you have a drink and plate of calamari. At least it wasn't a gain. These bad days with little or not gain are helping me to see that a bad day isn't going to totally ruin everything. I was off to work again with my cup of coffee and brought mixed veggies and dip, coleslaw, and an orange.
Dinner was a cup of chili and coleslaw
Eating Window: 12-5
Total Calories: 488
Day 34: Wednesday
Weight: 174.6 (-1)
What a pound! Awesome. That's so great. I can't believe it. Really didn't think I'd reach my goal for the week. So I didn't called to work so I made some amazing meatballs, only 25 calories each and super yummy.
I was feeling really hungry and there was only one sausage so that plus, an egg, spinach, asparagus and an orange was lunch at 11.
Then I was still hungry, or bored, so I had those pretzel chips with dip and a meatball. So I decided to opt out of dinner. Then one small mini donut at tutoring, which wasn't even really good.
Eating Window: 11-3
Total Calories: 555
Day 35: Thursday
Weight: 174 (-0.6)
Yay! I lost 2 pounds this week. When I didn't loose I was nervous because I needed 1.6 in 2 days. It was a super busy day with work today. And although I drank water it might not have been enough because I have a headache.
For lunch at 12 I had chili, coleslaw, and an orange.
Dinner I had 2 eggs, asparagus, and raspberries, plus a timbit. But considering I was surrounded by pizza today, I'll enjoy my bloody timbit :)
Eating Window: 12-5
Total Calories: 485
Re-Cap of Week 5
Total Calories: 4239
Weight Lost: (-2)
Weight: 176 (-1.0)
I can't believe I lost another pound! I'm really surprised. For Lunch today I had a borscht with sour cream.
However, I began feeling hungry again so I decided to have some pretzel chips and taziki. But the I wanted more, so I decided to have another serving and treat myself to a cheat day. I also had 3 snack size mars bars. I hoped to only have 1 but the temptation was too much.
I planned I wouldn't have dinner because snack was at 3.
Surprise surprise, my sister-in-law called to take my husband and I to a hockey game. So I resisted the temptation to over-indulge. We got popcorn and they were giving away apples; I decided not to get any drinks.
Eating Period: 12 - 2:30, 7:00
Calories: 935 cal
Weight: 176
Day 30: Saturday
Weight: 176.3 (+0.3)
Oh well. It was actually helpful to see that even if I have more calories than I want. Because I'm already keeping track I still make good decisions.
I was off to work today so I packed for lunch an egg, orange, asparagus, and raspberries. I was able to drink only have half my coffee.
Hubby made dinner so I had only one sausage, carrots, and asparagus. Really wanted more though, SO YUMMY. I love sausages.
Then Kevin had a friend over so I munched while visiting. Mostly popcorn. Have to resist munching when I shouldn't.
Eating period: 11-7
Calories: 470 cal
Weight: 176.3
Day 31: Sunday
Weight: 176.2
Feeling annoyed about indulging because instead of loosing under 176, I'm having to work back down.I'm learning I guess.
Spent the day meal prepping. I made chili, pulled pork, coleslaw, and cut up fruit and veggies.
For lunch I really wanted eggs, so I had 2 poached eggs, 2 c spinach, and 1 c raspberries. It was amazing.
As I was prepping, mostly for the family I was calculating calories for myself and I was depressed that 1 cup of chili is 169 calories. So I'd likely want 2 cups= 338 grr. Then the pulled pork is 172 for half a cup. So much!
With that said though, I had a 1/4 c of the pork, 1 c of coleslaw, and 3 potato wedges. Here's hoping I lose tomorrow, if not we're back to the week so I'll stick to veggies.
Also of note, I've found Instagram incredibly encouraging and inspiring. So definitely get on it for weightloss journey stories
Eating Window: 12- 5
Calories: 394 cal
Weight: 176.2
Day 32: Monday
Weight: 175.6 (-0.6)
Super excited with the loss :) Working this afternoon so I had lunch at 12. Raspberries, spinach, poached eggs! OMG this is my favorite, I think I'd eat it all the time if it was a little less. Maybe when I'm maintaining.
Made some yummy blueberry muffins for the kids. Had one which are 132 cal not the best for me.
I rushed home and had a quick dinner before heading to a meeting. Coleslaw, sausage, orange.
At the meeting I was really good didn't have anything. I decided to pop in and see hubby at his Monday Night Football, where I decided to get some calamari which was bad but on top of it, hubby got me a drink. Oh well
Eating Window: 12-5, 730
Total Calories: 912
Day 33: Tuesday
Weight: 175.6 (-0)
Nada. Well I guess that's to be expected when you have a drink and plate of calamari. At least it wasn't a gain. These bad days with little or not gain are helping me to see that a bad day isn't going to totally ruin everything. I was off to work again with my cup of coffee and brought mixed veggies and dip, coleslaw, and an orange.
Dinner was a cup of chili and coleslaw
Eating Window: 12-5
Total Calories: 488
Day 34: Wednesday
Weight: 174.6 (-1)
What a pound! Awesome. That's so great. I can't believe it. Really didn't think I'd reach my goal for the week. So I didn't called to work so I made some amazing meatballs, only 25 calories each and super yummy.
I was feeling really hungry and there was only one sausage so that plus, an egg, spinach, asparagus and an orange was lunch at 11.
Then I was still hungry, or bored, so I had those pretzel chips with dip and a meatball. So I decided to opt out of dinner. Then one small mini donut at tutoring, which wasn't even really good.
Eating Window: 11-3
Total Calories: 555
Day 35: Thursday
Weight: 174 (-0.6)
Yay! I lost 2 pounds this week. When I didn't loose I was nervous because I needed 1.6 in 2 days. It was a super busy day with work today. And although I drank water it might not have been enough because I have a headache.
For lunch at 12 I had chili, coleslaw, and an orange.
Dinner I had 2 eggs, asparagus, and raspberries, plus a timbit. But considering I was surrounded by pizza today, I'll enjoy my bloody timbit :)
Eating Window: 12-5
Total Calories: 485
Re-Cap of Week 5
Total Calories: 4239
Weight Lost: (-2)
Friday, October 14, 2016
Week 4 VLCD
Day 22: Friday
Weight:179.7 lbs (-0.5)
Glad to be down! Focusing on eating potatoes. Want to keep going down instead of bouncing up again! (Very frustrated with the up and down at 180)
Started with coffee because of work. Didn't have lunch till 12:30 just my potatoes with salsa
For dinner I also did potatoes with salsa and some asparagus, which are crazy low in calories 6 spears for 18 calories!
Hubby and I had a movie night so I allowed myself some popcorn
Eating Window: 12:30-5:00 (snack at 7:30)
Total Calories: 485 Cal
Weight: 179.7
Day 23: Saturday
Weight: 179 (-0.7)
Excellent! Finally. Hoping to keep the trend going. Off to work so I took a coffee which I didn't have till 11:15. Brought my potatoes.
My In-laws popped by for my break and asked if I wanted to something from Starbucks, figured a cookie would be fine because I wouldn't be able to eat my lunch. We sat and visited. My mother-in-law asked if I had lost weight :D
On my next break I put the cookie into my counter.... 370 calories!!! WHAT oh my god. Stupid cookie. Grrr.
Between my coffee and cookie I ate my preferred amount of calories. I decided that unless I'm super hungry I won't have anything else. If I'm hungry I'll have asparagus. It's not going to hurt me not to have dinner.
It's amazing how eating is such a social activity and how you can over eat if you're not paying attention. Another thing I've been surprised with is how little I'm actually hungry. People reflecting on my "blogs" might think I'm starving ALL the TIME, but I'm truly not. I'm surprised that I'm not hungry more often, but I'm usually only hungry at lunch and dinner. I think eating and snacks become a habit.
Even now (7pm), with only the cookie and coffee I'm not feeling hungry.
Eating Window: Cookie at 11:15
Total Calories: 475 Cal
Weight: 179 lbs
Day 24: Sunday
Weight: 178.6 (-0.4)
Yay. Down again! Very glad that I was able to make it without eating. So I'm still sticking with the plan not to eat until dinner. I just want to enjoy dinner without having to have less.
I spent the morning helping my mom prep for thanksgiving dinner :)
I was so surprised when I realized I had made it 24hrs without anything (11:30) but I also realized that I would have to go another 7 hours before dinner.
Around 4 I started getting hungry but just busied myself with family and computer.
Once we sat down to dinner around 630, I wasn't as hungry and I was excited to eat. I dished out my planned amounts of everything, which was much less than I would have dished out prior to my weightloss journey. I ate slowly and after I finished I felt very comfortable and happy. I wanted more but I recognized that it was because I enjoyed the flavor, not because I was hungry. I resisted an extra scoop of my favorite broccoli casserole.
I didn't eat as much cauliflower mash, my sister-in-law brought because it was so garlicy.
I originally only had only a couple of bites of pumpkin pie, but after falling asleep and coming out to say good night to family friends who were leaving. I plated the final piece of the pumpkin pie, and ate it. Wasn't plan, enjoyed it, and felt guilty. However, I realized that I wouldn't have it again till Christmas so I accepted it and went to bed.
Eating Window: 630- 845 (31 hr fast)
Total Calories: 876 cal
Weight: 178.6
Day 25: Monday
Weight: 178.9 (+0.3)
Excellent! Obviously not happy about the gain, but I am about the amount. I was sure I was going back up to 180 and I'm so over that.
My husband really wanted to make breakfast for us this morning, I was planning on kindly refusing but he cooks so rarely.
I helped make blueberry sauce and the bacon.
I was originally going to set it aside and just have it at lunch, but I knew he wanted me to have it now.
I calculated the calories for the waffles, not bad at 128. So I had one waffle and a 1/4 c of blueberry sauce instead of syrup; 21 cal instead of 60 cal. All about the small choices right.
I wasn't hungry at lunch time but was at 3, so I had an early dinner. Just my potatoes.
Feeling very happy and accomplished. Looking forward to seeing how much I loose tomorrow, hoping to get to loosing 1.9 this week.
Note: I will say that I'm finding myself tired. I go to bed around 9 and am up at 6. But in the afternoon I could go to bed at 3. I'm planning of getting some energy tea, or keeping my coffee.
Eating Window: 9:45 - 3:00
Total Calories: 349 cal
Weight: 178.6
Day 26: Tuesday
Weight:178.4 (-0.2)
Think about how long it will take to loose the weight. *sigh* If I loose a minimum of 2 lbs/week I'll loose 20 by Christmas, and hopefully be 158 which is the lowest I'll have ever been (160 was the lowest). I'm feeling a bit of frustration with the time, just waiting and wanting to get there. I'm just wanting to meet all my goals, want to get to 170, so I can get to 160, so I can focus on getting to 140. Because I'm thinking about what I'll look like in clothes :)
I've been trying to find full body shots, but like most bigger people there are very few. I'll be compiling them for comparisons.
Started with a coffee this morning, then lunch at 11:45. I had a 1/4 c of refried beans and kale salad with no dressing.
Then my vegetarian borscht with sour cream for dinner at 5:15
Eating Window: 11:45-5:15
Calories: 546 cal
Weight: 178.4
Day 27: Wednesday
Weight: 178.4 lbs
Damn! Nothing. I was really hoping to lose 20 lbs this month. Oh well, I can't dwell on it.
Off to work so I started with my coffee.
For lunch I wanted to get back to basics so I had a potato with salsa, and 1/4 c raspberries. I loved the raspberries and truly enjoyed them. That's the amazing thing about not eating treats, you enjoy them so much more than when you have them all the time.
Dinner I was surprisingly not hungry so I had a 1/4 c of refried beans and sweet kale salad with dressing.
Eating Window: 12:30 - 5:30
Calories: 461 cal
Weight: 178.4 lbs
Day 28: Thursday
Weight: 177 lbs (-1.4)
OMG I did it. -20lbs in a month yay!! I definitely notice the difference and I'm so happy to be down. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and I'm ready to keep going.
Although I've lost 20lbs I can't believe how much more I still need to go. I am also prepared with the knowledge that it's unrealistic to lose 20lbs in this next month. I'm looking for more like 8-10lbs lost this next month. I'm hoping that I'll lose more but 2lbs a week in reasonable and I need to be happy with that.
Today my husband was off so we went to town and did errands. I made it very clear to start that I had a plan for lunch and that was what I was having so we had to be back by 12. We stuck to it, I was late with a 1:00 lunch but only had some hard candies to tie me over.
I made a realization as we were out. I believe that weightloss is difficult because you are always having to say no.
"I really want pizza" "NO" "Oh look A&W" "NO" "Maybe a hotdog at Costco" "NO"
It's hard and tiring to always say NO, it's easy to say "YES", however, it gets easier! Soon the longing, turns to instinctive NO, and it helps to make a plan before.
For lunch I had 2 scrambled eggs, asparagus and raspberries :)
Only a few hours later I was hungry again, which bothered me because that hasn't happened lately. So I went for veggies with taziki dip.
I went off to work with my coffee and brought some food but I was hoping to get through without it. Fortunately I did. I was also able to make it through without drinking my coffee :)
That evening I was hungry at 930 while in bed. I knew that if I got up I would eat. I had an internal dialogue about what I would have if I did, even plunked it into my counter. But I said, just go to sleep, you can eat in the morning, you can make it.
If I hadn't fallen asleep or I couldn't hold off I would have had raspberries, orange, and an egg. But I did fall asleep and it's the next day. Waiting, can sometimes be the best aide in determining how hungry you are.
Eating Window: 1:00-3:30
Total Calories: 376 Cal
Weight: 177 lbs
Week Four Recap:
Total Weight Lost: (-2.7lbs)
Total Calories: 3568
Overall Loss: -20lbs!!!
Weight:179.7 lbs (-0.5)
Glad to be down! Focusing on eating potatoes. Want to keep going down instead of bouncing up again! (Very frustrated with the up and down at 180)
Started with coffee because of work. Didn't have lunch till 12:30 just my potatoes with salsa
For dinner I also did potatoes with salsa and some asparagus, which are crazy low in calories 6 spears for 18 calories!
Hubby and I had a movie night so I allowed myself some popcorn
Eating Window: 12:30-5:00 (snack at 7:30)
Total Calories: 485 Cal
Weight: 179.7
Day 23: Saturday
Weight: 179 (-0.7)
Excellent! Finally. Hoping to keep the trend going. Off to work so I took a coffee which I didn't have till 11:15. Brought my potatoes.
My In-laws popped by for my break and asked if I wanted to something from Starbucks, figured a cookie would be fine because I wouldn't be able to eat my lunch. We sat and visited. My mother-in-law asked if I had lost weight :D
On my next break I put the cookie into my counter.... 370 calories!!! WHAT oh my god. Stupid cookie. Grrr.
Between my coffee and cookie I ate my preferred amount of calories. I decided that unless I'm super hungry I won't have anything else. If I'm hungry I'll have asparagus. It's not going to hurt me not to have dinner.
It's amazing how eating is such a social activity and how you can over eat if you're not paying attention. Another thing I've been surprised with is how little I'm actually hungry. People reflecting on my "blogs" might think I'm starving ALL the TIME, but I'm truly not. I'm surprised that I'm not hungry more often, but I'm usually only hungry at lunch and dinner. I think eating and snacks become a habit.
Even now (7pm), with only the cookie and coffee I'm not feeling hungry.
Eating Window: Cookie at 11:15
Total Calories: 475 Cal
Weight: 179 lbs
Day 24: Sunday
Weight: 178.6 (-0.4)
Yay. Down again! Very glad that I was able to make it without eating. So I'm still sticking with the plan not to eat until dinner. I just want to enjoy dinner without having to have less.
I spent the morning helping my mom prep for thanksgiving dinner :)
I was so surprised when I realized I had made it 24hrs without anything (11:30) but I also realized that I would have to go another 7 hours before dinner.
Around 4 I started getting hungry but just busied myself with family and computer.
Once we sat down to dinner around 630, I wasn't as hungry and I was excited to eat. I dished out my planned amounts of everything, which was much less than I would have dished out prior to my weightloss journey. I ate slowly and after I finished I felt very comfortable and happy. I wanted more but I recognized that it was because I enjoyed the flavor, not because I was hungry. I resisted an extra scoop of my favorite broccoli casserole.
I didn't eat as much cauliflower mash, my sister-in-law brought because it was so garlicy.
I originally only had only a couple of bites of pumpkin pie, but after falling asleep and coming out to say good night to family friends who were leaving. I plated the final piece of the pumpkin pie, and ate it. Wasn't plan, enjoyed it, and felt guilty. However, I realized that I wouldn't have it again till Christmas so I accepted it and went to bed.
Eating Window: 630- 845 (31 hr fast)
Total Calories: 876 cal
Weight: 178.6
Day 25: Monday
Weight: 178.9 (+0.3)
Excellent! Obviously not happy about the gain, but I am about the amount. I was sure I was going back up to 180 and I'm so over that.
My husband really wanted to make breakfast for us this morning, I was planning on kindly refusing but he cooks so rarely.
I helped make blueberry sauce and the bacon.
I was originally going to set it aside and just have it at lunch, but I knew he wanted me to have it now.
I calculated the calories for the waffles, not bad at 128. So I had one waffle and a 1/4 c of blueberry sauce instead of syrup; 21 cal instead of 60 cal. All about the small choices right.
I wasn't hungry at lunch time but was at 3, so I had an early dinner. Just my potatoes.
Feeling very happy and accomplished. Looking forward to seeing how much I loose tomorrow, hoping to get to loosing 1.9 this week.
Note: I will say that I'm finding myself tired. I go to bed around 9 and am up at 6. But in the afternoon I could go to bed at 3. I'm planning of getting some energy tea, or keeping my coffee.
Eating Window: 9:45 - 3:00
Total Calories: 349 cal
Weight: 178.6
Day 26: Tuesday
Weight:178.4 (-0.2)
Think about how long it will take to loose the weight. *sigh* If I loose a minimum of 2 lbs/week I'll loose 20 by Christmas, and hopefully be 158 which is the lowest I'll have ever been (160 was the lowest). I'm feeling a bit of frustration with the time, just waiting and wanting to get there. I'm just wanting to meet all my goals, want to get to 170, so I can get to 160, so I can focus on getting to 140. Because I'm thinking about what I'll look like in clothes :)
I've been trying to find full body shots, but like most bigger people there are very few. I'll be compiling them for comparisons.
Started with a coffee this morning, then lunch at 11:45. I had a 1/4 c of refried beans and kale salad with no dressing.
Then my vegetarian borscht with sour cream for dinner at 5:15
Eating Window: 11:45-5:15
Calories: 546 cal
Weight: 178.4
Day 27: Wednesday
Weight: 178.4 lbs
Damn! Nothing. I was really hoping to lose 20 lbs this month. Oh well, I can't dwell on it.
Off to work so I started with my coffee.
For lunch I wanted to get back to basics so I had a potato with salsa, and 1/4 c raspberries. I loved the raspberries and truly enjoyed them. That's the amazing thing about not eating treats, you enjoy them so much more than when you have them all the time.
Dinner I was surprisingly not hungry so I had a 1/4 c of refried beans and sweet kale salad with dressing.
Eating Window: 12:30 - 5:30
Calories: 461 cal
Weight: 178.4 lbs
Day 28: Thursday
Weight: 177 lbs (-1.4)
OMG I did it. -20lbs in a month yay!! I definitely notice the difference and I'm so happy to be down. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and I'm ready to keep going.
Although I've lost 20lbs I can't believe how much more I still need to go. I am also prepared with the knowledge that it's unrealistic to lose 20lbs in this next month. I'm looking for more like 8-10lbs lost this next month. I'm hoping that I'll lose more but 2lbs a week in reasonable and I need to be happy with that.
Today my husband was off so we went to town and did errands. I made it very clear to start that I had a plan for lunch and that was what I was having so we had to be back by 12. We stuck to it, I was late with a 1:00 lunch but only had some hard candies to tie me over.
I made a realization as we were out. I believe that weightloss is difficult because you are always having to say no.
"I really want pizza" "NO" "Oh look A&W" "NO" "Maybe a hotdog at Costco" "NO"
It's hard and tiring to always say NO, it's easy to say "YES", however, it gets easier! Soon the longing, turns to instinctive NO, and it helps to make a plan before.
For lunch I had 2 scrambled eggs, asparagus and raspberries :)
Only a few hours later I was hungry again, which bothered me because that hasn't happened lately. So I went for veggies with taziki dip.
I went off to work with my coffee and brought some food but I was hoping to get through without it. Fortunately I did. I was also able to make it through without drinking my coffee :)
That evening I was hungry at 930 while in bed. I knew that if I got up I would eat. I had an internal dialogue about what I would have if I did, even plunked it into my counter. But I said, just go to sleep, you can eat in the morning, you can make it.
If I hadn't fallen asleep or I couldn't hold off I would have had raspberries, orange, and an egg. But I did fall asleep and it's the next day. Waiting, can sometimes be the best aide in determining how hungry you are.
Eating Window: 1:00-3:30
Total Calories: 376 Cal
Weight: 177 lbs
Week Four Recap:
Total Weight Lost: (-2.7lbs)
Total Calories: 3568
Overall Loss: -20lbs!!!
Saturday, October 8, 2016
Week 3 VLCD
Day 14: Thursday
Weight: 181.4 lbs (-1.7lbs)
:D Very happy today. Down 15.6lbs from 2 weeks ago! Crazy. Can't wait for the next 2 weeks.
Isn't it hard not to compare yourself to others. As happy as I am, and should be, I read that my friend has lost 30lbs and I feel jealous. Which I really shouldn't because she has so much more than me to lose. I always try to keep the mind frame that you should be grateful for what you have and where you are because there are people that wish they could be you. People who wish they had my job, a husband, kids, family, or that they were my weight. Therefore, just because I'm frustrated with my career or with my weight, others would be so thankful for what I have. Perspective is everything
The past couple of days have been difficult because I want to just have what I use to have; I'm working on learning about what I should be eating, and why I shouldn't be eating other things.
Cup of coffee before work only ended up having half. For lunch I had a mixed stir-fry the same as last night. Before work I had one slice of bread with butter and a piece of ham.
Day turned terrible.
I ended up with a stomach bug and was light-headed nauseous and had an upset tummy. I actually ended up getting sick at the end of work.
Think it's my time of the month too
Eating Window: 11:50-4:00
Total Calories: Threw up so I'm thinking 272 calories
Weight: 181.4 lbs
Day 15: Friday
Weight: 180.1 (-1.3)
I know this is only because my stomach was so upset I couldn't eat. I'm expecting to stay or go up tomorrow. Tried to drink lots of water because I was so thirsty. I allowed myself some leeway because I would not eat what I did today if I wasn't feeling so off.
Was really down because I had to call in sick to a full day of work :(
I started with a little bit of popcorn, and a small two bite brownie, it is my birthday and knew I wasn't getting anything till tomorrow. I made some packet soup and had one ladle (1 c)
For lunch I was quite hungry so I had a ham sandwich just bread, butter, and meat.
For dinner I had a couple of bites of a subway sandwich. Hoping for a much better day tomorrow want to bring back the perseverance and focus
Eating window: 9:00-6:00
Total Calories: 528 cal
Weight: 180.1
Day 16: Saturday
Weight:180 lbs (-0.1)
I was just glad I didn't gain after the mix of food. Today was my birthday celebration so I count it as my cheat day. Feeling amazing with the weight loss. Shared with mom that I've lost 17lbs. She said she noticed I was looking good
The morning started with having a small brownie. Then having potato wedges at 1230.
I didn't have dinner till 8 because my step-dad broke his wrist so we were at the hospital and waited to eat. We had chicken drumsticks, quinoa salad, sweet potato fries, caesar salad and mashed butternut squash. I had a 80 cal smirnoff and a piece of cake
Eating Window: 12:30-8
Total Calories: 884 Cal
Weight: 180
Day 17: Sunday
Weight: 181.8 lbs (+1.8)
First gain. I figured this was because I dropped so much and because of my cheat day. Not happy but ok with it. Just focusing on getting under 180 this week. Want to focus on getting back on track after a crazy few days.
Really, really didn't want just potatoes. Need to find another low cal soup or meal, because I'm over the butternut squash.
Had 2 snack size chocolate bars, but really proud that I resisted having a third when I reached for it.
Potatoes for lunch.
Dinner I made ribs, they looked really good and I had 2 pieces. I haven't had or made them in ages. There was corn and rice for sides but I only had corn. Ribs are crazy in calories 280 for just 2!!
Eating Window: 1-6
Total Calories: 563 Cal
Weight: 181.8
Day 18: Monday
Weight: 180 lbs (-1.8)
YAY! Glad I dropped so quick. Took pic today :) Have been feeling pretty good with where I am. Stomach is off again, was up early. Don't know if it's food or leftover from being sick
Had a morning coffee because I had to go to town for insurance stuff.
Got some farm fresh eggs from my brother so I had one with half and apple and some corn for lunch.
For dinner I had 3 ribs. I know I know, should have just had a potato.
Eating Window: 12 - 5
Total Calories: 661 Cal
Weight: 180
Day 19: Tuesday
Weight: 180.7 (+0.7)
Really! Oh come on. Grr. It's thanksgiving this weekend and I really want to be down, but I feel like I'm stuck.
Even with this thought I didn't do potatoes. I made chicken noodle soup and had it for lunch and dinner.
I'm trying to be optimistic for tomorrow. But I've already decided it's potatoes and veggies till sunday dinner. I have a long way to go and I've realized I was short-sighted with getting to 170 instead of the big focus of 140.
Eating window: 1230- 530
Total Calories: 511 cal
Weight: 180.7 lbs
Day 20: Wednesday
Weight: 179.4 (-1.3)
Yay! Into the 170's. Super excited about that. Slowly but surely. Just thinking about loosing on my thighs. Feels great to put on my dress pants :)
Feeling a little down personal wise. Stuff with work is stressing me out and hubby did something that's upset me. So just trying to keep busy around the house with cleaning stuff. Gonna do a couple of hours of work then I have parent teacher interviews tonight.
I haven't decided on soup or potatoes for lunch, but I'll have to eat before I go in at 12 because I don't think I'll make it to 2.
Decided to go with chicken soup for lunch and dinner
Eating Window: 11:30-5:30
Total Calories: 524 Cal
Weight: 179.4 lbs
Day 21: Thursday
Weight:180.2 (+0.8)
Super fed up with yo-yoing around 180 so I'm going potaotes and soup. I just want to keep going down. Plus I want to stay in the 170's after thanksgiving dinner (Live in Canada so Thanksgiving is before Halloween)
Did a couple of hours at the daycare today so I ate before I went because I wouldn't be able to because I finish at 2. Had Potatoes with salsa for lunch and made Vegetarian Borscht because it's low calories. Tried cutting the potatoes differently though and I don't like it, and the regular cabbage was super expensive so I got the purple and I don't really like it. Had soup for dinner and 1 girl guide cookie.
Eating Window: 11:30-5:00
Total Calories: 355 cal
Weight: 180.2 lbs
Week Three Re-cap
Total Weight Loss: (-1.2 lbs)
Total Calories: 4298 Cal
Note: Very fluctuating week. Going to focus on sticking to consistent VLC meals to see if it makes a difference. The exception being Sunday because of Thanksgiving
Weight: 181.4 lbs (-1.7lbs)
:D Very happy today. Down 15.6lbs from 2 weeks ago! Crazy. Can't wait for the next 2 weeks.
Isn't it hard not to compare yourself to others. As happy as I am, and should be, I read that my friend has lost 30lbs and I feel jealous. Which I really shouldn't because she has so much more than me to lose. I always try to keep the mind frame that you should be grateful for what you have and where you are because there are people that wish they could be you. People who wish they had my job, a husband, kids, family, or that they were my weight. Therefore, just because I'm frustrated with my career or with my weight, others would be so thankful for what I have. Perspective is everything
The past couple of days have been difficult because I want to just have what I use to have; I'm working on learning about what I should be eating, and why I shouldn't be eating other things.
Cup of coffee before work only ended up having half. For lunch I had a mixed stir-fry the same as last night. Before work I had one slice of bread with butter and a piece of ham.
Day turned terrible.
I ended up with a stomach bug and was light-headed nauseous and had an upset tummy. I actually ended up getting sick at the end of work.
Think it's my time of the month too
Eating Window: 11:50-4:00
Total Calories: Threw up so I'm thinking 272 calories
Weight: 181.4 lbs
Day 15: Friday
Weight: 180.1 (-1.3)
I know this is only because my stomach was so upset I couldn't eat. I'm expecting to stay or go up tomorrow. Tried to drink lots of water because I was so thirsty. I allowed myself some leeway because I would not eat what I did today if I wasn't feeling so off.
Was really down because I had to call in sick to a full day of work :(
I started with a little bit of popcorn, and a small two bite brownie, it is my birthday and knew I wasn't getting anything till tomorrow. I made some packet soup and had one ladle (1 c)
For lunch I was quite hungry so I had a ham sandwich just bread, butter, and meat.
For dinner I had a couple of bites of a subway sandwich. Hoping for a much better day tomorrow want to bring back the perseverance and focus
Eating window: 9:00-6:00
Total Calories: 528 cal
Weight: 180.1
Day 16: Saturday
Weight:180 lbs (-0.1)
I was just glad I didn't gain after the mix of food. Today was my birthday celebration so I count it as my cheat day. Feeling amazing with the weight loss. Shared with mom that I've lost 17lbs. She said she noticed I was looking good
The morning started with having a small brownie. Then having potato wedges at 1230.
I didn't have dinner till 8 because my step-dad broke his wrist so we were at the hospital and waited to eat. We had chicken drumsticks, quinoa salad, sweet potato fries, caesar salad and mashed butternut squash. I had a 80 cal smirnoff and a piece of cake
Eating Window: 12:30-8
Total Calories: 884 Cal
Weight: 180
Day 17: Sunday
Weight: 181.8 lbs (+1.8)
First gain. I figured this was because I dropped so much and because of my cheat day. Not happy but ok with it. Just focusing on getting under 180 this week. Want to focus on getting back on track after a crazy few days.
Really, really didn't want just potatoes. Need to find another low cal soup or meal, because I'm over the butternut squash.
Had 2 snack size chocolate bars, but really proud that I resisted having a third when I reached for it.
Potatoes for lunch.
Dinner I made ribs, they looked really good and I had 2 pieces. I haven't had or made them in ages. There was corn and rice for sides but I only had corn. Ribs are crazy in calories 280 for just 2!!
Eating Window: 1-6
Total Calories: 563 Cal
Weight: 181.8
Day 18: Monday
Weight: 180 lbs (-1.8)
YAY! Glad I dropped so quick. Took pic today :) Have been feeling pretty good with where I am. Stomach is off again, was up early. Don't know if it's food or leftover from being sick
Had a morning coffee because I had to go to town for insurance stuff.
Got some farm fresh eggs from my brother so I had one with half and apple and some corn for lunch.
For dinner I had 3 ribs. I know I know, should have just had a potato.
Eating Window: 12 - 5
Total Calories: 661 Cal
Weight: 180
Day 19: Tuesday
Weight: 180.7 (+0.7)
Really! Oh come on. Grr. It's thanksgiving this weekend and I really want to be down, but I feel like I'm stuck.
Even with this thought I didn't do potatoes. I made chicken noodle soup and had it for lunch and dinner.
I'm trying to be optimistic for tomorrow. But I've already decided it's potatoes and veggies till sunday dinner. I have a long way to go and I've realized I was short-sighted with getting to 170 instead of the big focus of 140.
Eating window: 1230- 530
Total Calories: 511 cal
Weight: 180.7 lbs
Day 20: Wednesday
Weight: 179.4 (-1.3)
Yay! Into the 170's. Super excited about that. Slowly but surely. Just thinking about loosing on my thighs. Feels great to put on my dress pants :)
Feeling a little down personal wise. Stuff with work is stressing me out and hubby did something that's upset me. So just trying to keep busy around the house with cleaning stuff. Gonna do a couple of hours of work then I have parent teacher interviews tonight.
I haven't decided on soup or potatoes for lunch, but I'll have to eat before I go in at 12 because I don't think I'll make it to 2.
Decided to go with chicken soup for lunch and dinner
Eating Window: 11:30-5:30
Total Calories: 524 Cal
Weight: 179.4 lbs
Day 21: Thursday
Weight:180.2 (+0.8)
Super fed up with yo-yoing around 180 so I'm going potaotes and soup. I just want to keep going down. Plus I want to stay in the 170's after thanksgiving dinner (Live in Canada so Thanksgiving is before Halloween)
Did a couple of hours at the daycare today so I ate before I went because I wouldn't be able to because I finish at 2. Had Potatoes with salsa for lunch and made Vegetarian Borscht because it's low calories. Tried cutting the potatoes differently though and I don't like it, and the regular cabbage was super expensive so I got the purple and I don't really like it. Had soup for dinner and 1 girl guide cookie.
Eating Window: 11:30-5:00
Total Calories: 355 cal
Weight: 180.2 lbs
Week Three Re-cap
Total Weight Loss: (-1.2 lbs)
Total Calories: 4298 Cal
Note: Very fluctuating week. Going to focus on sticking to consistent VLC meals to see if it makes a difference. The exception being Sunday because of Thanksgiving
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Week 2 of VLCD
Day 8: Thursday
Weight: 186.6 lbs (-0)
Feeling bummed that I lost nothing. Really!? Grr. Well I did drop 1.2lbs the day before. Still feeling very good.
Decided to make a Spicy Thai Butternut Squash soup, that I've been wanting to do for a while. It was amazing and so simple. When I plugged in the ingredients to my recipe app I got 151 cal/ serving (each serving is 2 cups). You top it with cilantro, lime, and peanuts (I did 6) So I had this for lunch which was at 1:00.
Had to work tonight, but energy was great; took a coffee. Had the soup for dinner which was late because of work.
Eating window: 1:00- 7:15
Total Calories: 606 cal
Weight: 186.6lbs
Day 9: Friday
Weight:185.3 lbs (-1.3lbs)
Woohoo! Super happy about that loss. Didn't do much today.
Had a cup of coffee and soup for lunch and dinner
Eating Window: 12:10- 6?
Total Calories: 475 cal
Weight: 185.3lbs
Day 10: Saturday
Weight: 185 lbs (-0.3)
Today was my daughter's sleepover party to unfortunately there were treats everywhere. I was able to resist till the very end...
I took the girls to swim lessons and didn't eat till we got home. I find having something to do that gets you out of the house in the morning helps move lunch later. The coffee also helps put off eating. Some people say the fast is broken when you have any form of calories so technically you could say my beginning is earlier when I have coffee. However, I just use my beginning as my first meal.
I did have a bit of an upset tummy, think this had to do with some bug being around because I was up all night with my little one who was throwing up :(
I had a coffee today and my soup for lunch which I had at 1.
Everyone came over at 6 for the sleepover and I was so busy getting everything ready that it wasn't until 5:50 that I realized I hadn't had dinner. Didn't feel like soup so I had potatoes and yam round.
I did end up having a few snacks, damnit. I love Old Dutch Twists and I got them for my daughter because she can't have popcorn (braces) so I kept having small handfuls, which I believe were about 4 cups. Then I had 3 peach rings, again my favorite. This is why I don't keep treats in the house, but it was a special event. And for everything we had I did great. We had pizza, chocolate, ice cream, brownies, popcorn, chips, and pop.
Eating Window: 1:00-8:45
Total Calories: 744 cal
Weight: 185 lbs
Day 11: Sunday
Weight: 183.8 lbs (-1.2lbs)
Tummy felt fine. Had to get the girls up. Made them a nice breakfast with toast, eggs, bacon, orange juice and fruit. Everything looked so good!
I made a coffee to help get me going after 2 late nights in a row.
For lunch I had my soup while my girls made pizzas. Just a little jealous, but concentrating on what I shouldn't have helps focus me on what I should.
I decided to have my potatoes for dinner tonight.
Eating window: 12:30 - 6:00?
Total Calories: 384 cal
Weight: 183.8 lbs
Day 12: Monday
Weight: 183.2 lbs (-0.6)
Took the girls to school and got a call to work.
I made a coffee and took soup for lunch.
I wasn't in the mood for soup so I made potatoes but didn't want that so I had a salad with lettuce, some, mushrooms, and peppers with caesar dressing. I didn't want to put too much in because I love a loaded salad and that includes cheese for me so I didn't want to temp myself.
Eating Window: 11:45 - 5:30
Total Calories: 412 cal
Weight: 183.2 lbs
Day 13: Tuesday
Weight: 183.3 (+0.1)
Eh. Oh well, I think the bounce up is because of the big drop. Still happy to be down below my weight at Christmas. I might be imagining it but my pants feel better around my stomach. However, I don't believe so because I've dropped 13 lbs so far so that's going to make some difference. Feeling very happy with myself :D
I can't wait to keep going.
I'm out of lime so I didn't bother with peanuts on my soup today. I went into town for groceries, getting out of the house, and so I had a bowl of soup at 12:30.
I really felt like a treat so I check the calories for a jolly rancher only 23 cal. Nice. So I ended up having 3 through the day.
For dinner I wanted potatoes but not just with franks, so I had salsa.
Eating Window: 12:20 -5:30
Total Calories: 299 cal
Weight: 183.3
Day 14: Wednesday
Weight: 183.1 lbs (-0.2)
Oh my god I just realized that I'm super close to 170's. When I was working out 3 years ago that was my first goal. Can't wait to get to 170.
But I'm going to be ecstatic for 160 because that was the lowest I got back in 2014.
Hard to believe how quickly time goes and how slow weight gain = lots of weight gained. It is a gradual thing.
160 in March 2014 ---> 186 lbs Christmas 2015 ----> 189 January 2015 ----> 200 June 2016 ---> 197 September 2016
I have to keep going! There's no way I'm not going to get back there. I'm too disappointed to continue feeling disappointed. I've been feeling this way for 2 years basically. Ever since I've been gaining. Every time I think about "Oh man I wish I was still 160, why can't I get me act together?"
Done with that!
So I found I wasn't hungry today and didn't end up having lunch till 1:00. I only ended up having 1 cup of soup. I struggled because I really wanted roast chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. And ice cream and brownies. Forcing yourself to change is hard
For dinner I wanted something different so I did mixed vegetables with refried beans. Although refried beans have the same calories as mashed potatoes, they don't have any milk, butter, sour cream and cheese like I put in mine.
My stomach was upset after, but I didn't use any oil or butter and only garlic salt. Odd
Wanted something sweet so I had one jolly rancher.
I had a meeting tonight that had timbits, oranges, and carrots. But my rumbly tummy helped me from having anything
Eating Window: 1:00 - 5:00
Total Calories: 329 Cal
Weight: 183.1
I don't know why but this week felt harder, might just have been the extra goodies being around. I'm feeling how long this road will be... but I'm excited and frustrated at the same time. Here's to another good week
Week 2 Re-cap
Total Pounds Lost: (-3.5lbs)
Total Calories Eaten: 3249 Cal
Weight: 186.6 lbs (-0)
Feeling bummed that I lost nothing. Really!? Grr. Well I did drop 1.2lbs the day before. Still feeling very good.
Decided to make a Spicy Thai Butternut Squash soup, that I've been wanting to do for a while. It was amazing and so simple. When I plugged in the ingredients to my recipe app I got 151 cal/ serving (each serving is 2 cups). You top it with cilantro, lime, and peanuts (I did 6) So I had this for lunch which was at 1:00.
Had to work tonight, but energy was great; took a coffee. Had the soup for dinner which was late because of work.
Eating window: 1:00- 7:15
Total Calories: 606 cal
Weight: 186.6lbs
Day 9: Friday
Weight:185.3 lbs (-1.3lbs)
Woohoo! Super happy about that loss. Didn't do much today.
Had a cup of coffee and soup for lunch and dinner
Eating Window: 12:10- 6?
Total Calories: 475 cal
Weight: 185.3lbs
Day 10: Saturday
Weight: 185 lbs (-0.3)
Today was my daughter's sleepover party to unfortunately there were treats everywhere. I was able to resist till the very end...
I took the girls to swim lessons and didn't eat till we got home. I find having something to do that gets you out of the house in the morning helps move lunch later. The coffee also helps put off eating. Some people say the fast is broken when you have any form of calories so technically you could say my beginning is earlier when I have coffee. However, I just use my beginning as my first meal.
I did have a bit of an upset tummy, think this had to do with some bug being around because I was up all night with my little one who was throwing up :(
I had a coffee today and my soup for lunch which I had at 1.
Everyone came over at 6 for the sleepover and I was so busy getting everything ready that it wasn't until 5:50 that I realized I hadn't had dinner. Didn't feel like soup so I had potatoes and yam round.
I did end up having a few snacks, damnit. I love Old Dutch Twists and I got them for my daughter because she can't have popcorn (braces) so I kept having small handfuls, which I believe were about 4 cups. Then I had 3 peach rings, again my favorite. This is why I don't keep treats in the house, but it was a special event. And for everything we had I did great. We had pizza, chocolate, ice cream, brownies, popcorn, chips, and pop.
Eating Window: 1:00-8:45
Total Calories: 744 cal
Weight: 185 lbs
Day 11: Sunday
Weight: 183.8 lbs (-1.2lbs)
Tummy felt fine. Had to get the girls up. Made them a nice breakfast with toast, eggs, bacon, orange juice and fruit. Everything looked so good!
I made a coffee to help get me going after 2 late nights in a row.
For lunch I had my soup while my girls made pizzas. Just a little jealous, but concentrating on what I shouldn't have helps focus me on what I should.
I decided to have my potatoes for dinner tonight.
Eating window: 12:30 - 6:00?
Total Calories: 384 cal
Weight: 183.8 lbs
Day 12: Monday
Weight: 183.2 lbs (-0.6)
Took the girls to school and got a call to work.
I made a coffee and took soup for lunch.
I wasn't in the mood for soup so I made potatoes but didn't want that so I had a salad with lettuce, some, mushrooms, and peppers with caesar dressing. I didn't want to put too much in because I love a loaded salad and that includes cheese for me so I didn't want to temp myself.
Eating Window: 11:45 - 5:30
Total Calories: 412 cal
Weight: 183.2 lbs
Day 13: Tuesday
Weight: 183.3 (+0.1)
Eh. Oh well, I think the bounce up is because of the big drop. Still happy to be down below my weight at Christmas. I might be imagining it but my pants feel better around my stomach. However, I don't believe so because I've dropped 13 lbs so far so that's going to make some difference. Feeling very happy with myself :D
I can't wait to keep going.
I'm out of lime so I didn't bother with peanuts on my soup today. I went into town for groceries, getting out of the house, and so I had a bowl of soup at 12:30.
I really felt like a treat so I check the calories for a jolly rancher only 23 cal. Nice. So I ended up having 3 through the day.
For dinner I wanted potatoes but not just with franks, so I had salsa.
Eating Window: 12:20 -5:30
Total Calories: 299 cal
Weight: 183.3
Day 14: Wednesday
Weight: 183.1 lbs (-0.2)
Oh my god I just realized that I'm super close to 170's. When I was working out 3 years ago that was my first goal. Can't wait to get to 170.
But I'm going to be ecstatic for 160 because that was the lowest I got back in 2014.
Hard to believe how quickly time goes and how slow weight gain = lots of weight gained. It is a gradual thing.
160 in March 2014 ---> 186 lbs Christmas 2015 ----> 189 January 2015 ----> 200 June 2016 ---> 197 September 2016
I have to keep going! There's no way I'm not going to get back there. I'm too disappointed to continue feeling disappointed. I've been feeling this way for 2 years basically. Ever since I've been gaining. Every time I think about "Oh man I wish I was still 160, why can't I get me act together?"
Done with that!
So I found I wasn't hungry today and didn't end up having lunch till 1:00. I only ended up having 1 cup of soup. I struggled because I really wanted roast chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy. And ice cream and brownies. Forcing yourself to change is hard
For dinner I wanted something different so I did mixed vegetables with refried beans. Although refried beans have the same calories as mashed potatoes, they don't have any milk, butter, sour cream and cheese like I put in mine.
My stomach was upset after, but I didn't use any oil or butter and only garlic salt. Odd
Wanted something sweet so I had one jolly rancher.
I had a meeting tonight that had timbits, oranges, and carrots. But my rumbly tummy helped me from having anything
Eating Window: 1:00 - 5:00
Total Calories: 329 Cal
Weight: 183.1
I don't know why but this week felt harder, might just have been the extra goodies being around. I'm feeling how long this road will be... but I'm excited and frustrated at the same time. Here's to another good week
Week 2 Re-cap
Total Pounds Lost: (-3.5lbs)
Total Calories Eaten: 3249 Cal
Thursday, September 22, 2016
The first 7 days of VLCD
Day "1": Thursday
I have day one in quotation because I was trying to hold off the start of this diet because supposedly day 3 and 4 are difficult and I had work on Saturday.
I started my day with my daily cup of coffee with International French Vanilla. I had originally planned to wean myself off my glorious creamer, so that I could still drink my coffee but without it. See Day 2
In the mean time I started drinking tea again, it's fall weather for sure so I'm enjoying having it back
For lunch I had a bowl of homemade acorn squash soup I had made the day before. (Being completely honest here, it was no good, I hadn't made it before and didn't follow a recipe so it lasted 3 bowls before I cut my loses)
I had some white cheddar popcorn as a snack (looking great already right. I just couldn't justify throwing out a cup of popcorn when I wasn't officially starting till tomorrow)
For dinner I had a potato with franks, spaghetti squash, and slice of onion (which didn't get eaten)
I tried the potato without anything and if I truly had to I would go without anything but I didn't feel it was necessary.
I really wanted my mango. I tried to ignore it, waited, did some other things but still... so I peeled and cut it and put it in the fridge and tried to leave it. But just couldn't wait till tomorrow.
That's the thing for me. I try to wait and redirect. I ask myself questions before I make a decision about the food.
Finished eating: 7 pm
Total Calories: 984 cal
Weight: 197 lbs
Day 2: Friday
Note- The second part of the "potato diet" was after 2 weeks you can eat vegan/vegatarian with a fed window of only a 6/8 hours. I had tried intermittent fasting before and figured I was jumping into this part anyways so I would try to be mindful of creating a feeding window. I decided that I wouldn't eat any later then 6pm, so if I want to shorten my window it would be moving breakfast.
That morning I got up and weighed myself, 194.1lbs meaning -2.9lbs. Awesome! That little success was nice.
Coffee?? I decided that because I wasn't working I would try going without coffee, if I really wanted it I would have it, but lets try waiting. Instead I made tea.
I got the kids ready and took them to school.
I usual don't eat till I get back home around 9 anyways. On the drive back I really wanted potatoes. I was looking forward to having them!
I wanted to grab some groceries so I headed to the store. I needed to grab potatoes and yams if I was going to make it work. I also really wanted to make a nice chicken dinner. It's interesting that I still want to make nice food even though I'm not going to eat it, it's like watching the food network :D
Once I got the groceries in the house and was unpacking I became very hungry! It was 11 and I could finish unpacking and prepping dinner, lunch was needed first.
I nuked my potato and yam (5 mins, then 2 more for the yam) Did you know potatoes only have 100 calories? It was so yummy and satisfying. 16 hour fast
For dinner I made a beautiful roast chicken and potatoes with gravy and carrots... I had a red potato, spaghetti squash and a yam round, because I wanted it.
I truly desired the veggies instead of everything else. Not saying I didn't nibble on the chicken, for testing purposes only ;)
Then after dinner I wanted something sweet so I had a cup of mango.
Finish Eating: 6:30pm
Total Calories: 547 cal
Weight: 194.1
Day 3: Saturday
Morning weight: 189 lbs!!! WHAT that's right -5.1 stinking pounds, that's 8 lbs already. Was not eating really working.
Pause.
Note: Yes I know all about water weight, sure it's water weight. Who cares! Does that matter, the number is still down. Heck I could cut my hair and it would go down, doesn't matter. It's working for me and my opinion, feelings, and thoughts are mine. Lets move on...
I was worried about what my energy level would be at work. I was planning on skipping my coffee again but was worried I'd be too tired so I decided, I'd make it and bring. Just encase I wanted it.
My other dilemma was weather or not to eat before work. I started at 11 and knew I would get a break until at the earliest 1!
I got up and had tea. I put on some laundry before running to the pharmacy for some pills. This is actually very unusual for me, usually I'd lay around and do nothing before work. Not eating was making me more active. I grab some groceries before coming home.
I decided to wait to eat until lunch at work. Once I got there I saw, Break: 1:45, my fast would be about 19 hrs.
It was chaos at work and I did decide to have my coffee at 1:15.
Surprisingly my energy was good and I wasn't crazed hungry when I ate. I actually didn't finish everything on my first break
1 Potato
1 c carrots
1 c spaghetti squash
Yam round
At my second break at 4:15 I finished everything.
I met up with my husband, kids, and friends at a football game. I brought in my cup of mango but gave it to my girls. My husband, being nice, brought me a Palm Bay. If he hadn't brought it I wouldn't have had it, but I had already planned to have a hot dog during tailgating which was moved to their house because of rain, so I allowed myself to enjoy it. I was already planning on it.
Finished Eating(drinking): 8:30pm
Total Calories: 624 cal
Weight: 189 lbs
Day 4: Sunday
My Baby's birthday :D That's right my little one is now 11 years old!!
Weight: 188.3 lbs (-0.7)
I was just glad I still went down with having the coffee creamer and Palm bay. Any lose is still a lose.
We made plans to go to Montana's for my daughter's birthday, I was planning on either having what I wanted, making a healthy choice, or being strict. Meaning I had no idea what I was going to get.
I had a yam round, a potato and a cup of mango for lunch (I believe I ate at 12)
Dinner was at 5. I started with only a water. (A good way to cut calories is not to drink them)
Appies- My husband, mom, and brother all got appies. I had a bite of the potato skins and some spinach dip. I had 5 pieces with some dip and was surprised when I logged it later that it only had 118 calories :) Nice
For dinner I picked a small house salad with dressing on the side, side of seasonal veggies which was broccoli and cauliflower, and 2 skewers of shrimp. I considered a steak but honestly didn't feel hungry enough for it. I was incredibly surprised with the veggies they were cooked perfect.
Dinner was 282 calories
I'll admit to a small bite of my daughters birthday dessert
Finished Eating: 6:00pm
Total Calories: 657 calories
Weight:188.3lbs
Day 5: Monday
Weight:188.1 lbs (-0.2)
Today I made a nice beef stew. I had been craving it and I could picture the beautiful chunks of beef and veggies floating in a gravy sauce. This was my lunch and dinner. I believe I ate around 12:30.
One cup is only 100 calories! Awesome. This is the perfect recipe to stay low. Another good soup is bourcht at 114 calories, not including the sour cream unfortunately.
I had 2 cups for both lunch and dinner. It was perfect and so filling.
I had nothing else other then tea.
Finished Eating: 5:30pm
Total Calories: 402 calories
Weight: 188.1
Day 6: Tuesday
Weight: 187.4 lbs (-0.07)
I was called in to work today so I was again anxious about my energy level. I made a tea and a coffee to take and packed mango and stew for food.
My energy was good but was glad for the coffee.
I ate lunch at 12:15 today and only ate quickly because I had to rush to get back.
I had dinner at 5:30? it was potatoes, yam round and carrots. Plus a cup of mango after
I had chicken wraps from the leftover chicken. I enjoy making the food that I would like to have. I don't feel guilty, sad or angry about it. I enjoy cooking.
Finished Eating: 6pm
Total Calories:527 Calories
Weight: 187.4
Day 7: Wednesday
Weight: 186.6 (-0.8) !!
Officially lost 10.4 lbs! Awesome. Again, yes mostly all water I'm sure by you'd be happy if you didn't have 10lbs to carry around. go pick up a 10lb weight. Nothing to sneer at right
Got the girls off to school and putter around getting the house clean before I went into town to pick up birthday supplies. (My daughter is having a sleepover this weekend because I worked on saturday. I got all the fixings. Tons of candy and pedicure/manicure stuff)
I got home around 12 for lunch and was quite hungry so I had 2 cups of stew before having another. Felt full.
The nice thing about not eating all the time is I'm aware of being HUNGRY, not the "hmmm I want to eat". And then after eating the enjoyment of not being stuffed, but satisfied.
I decided to make tacos for the family, and felt a little bummed that I was having stew for dinner (I wanted to finish the pot)
I baked the hard shells, because I love them, but knew I'd just be doing burritos.
They had refried beans, cheese, ground beef with black beans, onions, tomatoes, salsa, sour cream, crushed hard shells and lettuce. They looked great and the one bite I had proved they tasted good too. However, I noticed that the wrap now tasted chewy and flour ish.
I enjoyed my stew once I started eating and truly didn't care that I wasn't eating what they were. Funny huh!
Once the kids were in bed I cleaned the whole kitchen including mopping. Very unusual for me. Also for the past 3 nights I've been going to bed with my husband which is around 9 or 10. Yesterday and today I actually was asleep before him. I just because I know I'm not going to eat I might as well go to sleep. (Or maybe I don't have the energy?)
Finished eating: 5:15pm (actually taking note of it now)
Total Calories: 552 cal
Weight: 186.6 lbs
Week 1: (-10.4lbs)
Total Calories Eaten: 4293 Cal
I have day one in quotation because I was trying to hold off the start of this diet because supposedly day 3 and 4 are difficult and I had work on Saturday.
I started my day with my daily cup of coffee with International French Vanilla. I had originally planned to wean myself off my glorious creamer, so that I could still drink my coffee but without it. See Day 2
In the mean time I started drinking tea again, it's fall weather for sure so I'm enjoying having it back
For lunch I had a bowl of homemade acorn squash soup I had made the day before. (Being completely honest here, it was no good, I hadn't made it before and didn't follow a recipe so it lasted 3 bowls before I cut my loses)
I had some white cheddar popcorn as a snack (looking great already right. I just couldn't justify throwing out a cup of popcorn when I wasn't officially starting till tomorrow)
For dinner I had a potato with franks, spaghetti squash, and slice of onion (which didn't get eaten)
I tried the potato without anything and if I truly had to I would go without anything but I didn't feel it was necessary.
I really wanted my mango. I tried to ignore it, waited, did some other things but still... so I peeled and cut it and put it in the fridge and tried to leave it. But just couldn't wait till tomorrow.
That's the thing for me. I try to wait and redirect. I ask myself questions before I make a decision about the food.
Finished eating: 7 pm
Total Calories: 984 cal
Weight: 197 lbs
Day 2: Friday
Note- The second part of the "potato diet" was after 2 weeks you can eat vegan/vegatarian with a fed window of only a 6/8 hours. I had tried intermittent fasting before and figured I was jumping into this part anyways so I would try to be mindful of creating a feeding window. I decided that I wouldn't eat any later then 6pm, so if I want to shorten my window it would be moving breakfast.
That morning I got up and weighed myself, 194.1lbs meaning -2.9lbs. Awesome! That little success was nice.
Coffee?? I decided that because I wasn't working I would try going without coffee, if I really wanted it I would have it, but lets try waiting. Instead I made tea.
I got the kids ready and took them to school.
I usual don't eat till I get back home around 9 anyways. On the drive back I really wanted potatoes. I was looking forward to having them!
I wanted to grab some groceries so I headed to the store. I needed to grab potatoes and yams if I was going to make it work. I also really wanted to make a nice chicken dinner. It's interesting that I still want to make nice food even though I'm not going to eat it, it's like watching the food network :D
Once I got the groceries in the house and was unpacking I became very hungry! It was 11 and I could finish unpacking and prepping dinner, lunch was needed first.
I nuked my potato and yam (5 mins, then 2 more for the yam) Did you know potatoes only have 100 calories? It was so yummy and satisfying. 16 hour fast
For dinner I made a beautiful roast chicken and potatoes with gravy and carrots... I had a red potato, spaghetti squash and a yam round, because I wanted it.
I truly desired the veggies instead of everything else. Not saying I didn't nibble on the chicken, for testing purposes only ;)
Then after dinner I wanted something sweet so I had a cup of mango.
Finish Eating: 6:30pm
Total Calories: 547 cal
Weight: 194.1
Day 3: Saturday
Morning weight: 189 lbs!!! WHAT that's right -5.1 stinking pounds, that's 8 lbs already. Was not eating really working.
Pause.
Note: Yes I know all about water weight, sure it's water weight. Who cares! Does that matter, the number is still down. Heck I could cut my hair and it would go down, doesn't matter. It's working for me and my opinion, feelings, and thoughts are mine. Lets move on...
I was worried about what my energy level would be at work. I was planning on skipping my coffee again but was worried I'd be too tired so I decided, I'd make it and bring. Just encase I wanted it.
My other dilemma was weather or not to eat before work. I started at 11 and knew I would get a break until at the earliest 1!
I got up and had tea. I put on some laundry before running to the pharmacy for some pills. This is actually very unusual for me, usually I'd lay around and do nothing before work. Not eating was making me more active. I grab some groceries before coming home.
I decided to wait to eat until lunch at work. Once I got there I saw, Break: 1:45, my fast would be about 19 hrs.
It was chaos at work and I did decide to have my coffee at 1:15.
Surprisingly my energy was good and I wasn't crazed hungry when I ate. I actually didn't finish everything on my first break
1 Potato
1 c carrots
1 c spaghetti squash
Yam round
At my second break at 4:15 I finished everything.
I met up with my husband, kids, and friends at a football game. I brought in my cup of mango but gave it to my girls. My husband, being nice, brought me a Palm Bay. If he hadn't brought it I wouldn't have had it, but I had already planned to have a hot dog during tailgating which was moved to their house because of rain, so I allowed myself to enjoy it. I was already planning on it.
Finished Eating(drinking): 8:30pm
Total Calories: 624 cal
Weight: 189 lbs
Day 4: Sunday
My Baby's birthday :D That's right my little one is now 11 years old!!
Weight: 188.3 lbs (-0.7)
I was just glad I still went down with having the coffee creamer and Palm bay. Any lose is still a lose.
We made plans to go to Montana's for my daughter's birthday, I was planning on either having what I wanted, making a healthy choice, or being strict. Meaning I had no idea what I was going to get.
I had a yam round, a potato and a cup of mango for lunch (I believe I ate at 12)
Dinner was at 5. I started with only a water. (A good way to cut calories is not to drink them)
Appies- My husband, mom, and brother all got appies. I had a bite of the potato skins and some spinach dip. I had 5 pieces with some dip and was surprised when I logged it later that it only had 118 calories :) Nice
For dinner I picked a small house salad with dressing on the side, side of seasonal veggies which was broccoli and cauliflower, and 2 skewers of shrimp. I considered a steak but honestly didn't feel hungry enough for it. I was incredibly surprised with the veggies they were cooked perfect.
Dinner was 282 calories
I'll admit to a small bite of my daughters birthday dessert
Finished Eating: 6:00pm
Total Calories: 657 calories
Weight:188.3lbs
Day 5: Monday
Weight:188.1 lbs (-0.2)
Today I made a nice beef stew. I had been craving it and I could picture the beautiful chunks of beef and veggies floating in a gravy sauce. This was my lunch and dinner. I believe I ate around 12:30.
One cup is only 100 calories! Awesome. This is the perfect recipe to stay low. Another good soup is bourcht at 114 calories, not including the sour cream unfortunately.
I had 2 cups for both lunch and dinner. It was perfect and so filling.
I had nothing else other then tea.
Finished Eating: 5:30pm
Total Calories: 402 calories
Weight: 188.1
Day 6: Tuesday
Weight: 187.4 lbs (-0.07)
I was called in to work today so I was again anxious about my energy level. I made a tea and a coffee to take and packed mango and stew for food.
My energy was good but was glad for the coffee.
I ate lunch at 12:15 today and only ate quickly because I had to rush to get back.
I had dinner at 5:30? it was potatoes, yam round and carrots. Plus a cup of mango after
I had chicken wraps from the leftover chicken. I enjoy making the food that I would like to have. I don't feel guilty, sad or angry about it. I enjoy cooking.
Finished Eating: 6pm
Total Calories:527 Calories
Weight: 187.4
Day 7: Wednesday
Weight: 186.6 (-0.8) !!
Officially lost 10.4 lbs! Awesome. Again, yes mostly all water I'm sure by you'd be happy if you didn't have 10lbs to carry around. go pick up a 10lb weight. Nothing to sneer at right
Got the girls off to school and putter around getting the house clean before I went into town to pick up birthday supplies. (My daughter is having a sleepover this weekend because I worked on saturday. I got all the fixings. Tons of candy and pedicure/manicure stuff)
I got home around 12 for lunch and was quite hungry so I had 2 cups of stew before having another. Felt full.
The nice thing about not eating all the time is I'm aware of being HUNGRY, not the "hmmm I want to eat". And then after eating the enjoyment of not being stuffed, but satisfied.
I decided to make tacos for the family, and felt a little bummed that I was having stew for dinner (I wanted to finish the pot)
I baked the hard shells, because I love them, but knew I'd just be doing burritos.
They had refried beans, cheese, ground beef with black beans, onions, tomatoes, salsa, sour cream, crushed hard shells and lettuce. They looked great and the one bite I had proved they tasted good too. However, I noticed that the wrap now tasted chewy and flour ish.
I enjoyed my stew once I started eating and truly didn't care that I wasn't eating what they were. Funny huh!
Once the kids were in bed I cleaned the whole kitchen including mopping. Very unusual for me. Also for the past 3 nights I've been going to bed with my husband which is around 9 or 10. Yesterday and today I actually was asleep before him. I just because I know I'm not going to eat I might as well go to sleep. (Or maybe I don't have the energy?)
Finished eating: 5:15pm (actually taking note of it now)
Total Calories: 552 cal
Weight: 186.6 lbs
Week 1: (-10.4lbs)
Total Calories Eaten: 4293 Cal
Controversial Low Cal Diets
So before I go into this, I'm prefacing my blog with a note. I recognize that low calories are believed to be unsafe and people complain about starving and the such. This is my personal experience and I have no idea where I'll be in a few months or a year but this is me and my individual experience.
There is a lot of information about intermittent fasting, starving and what the human body actually needs. So look into everything and get informed if you are planning on doing anything in regards to your health.
A person can live without food for 3 weeks! That's 21 days. So people honestly think they can't live 3 hours
A person can 3 days without water
I am (outside of my being obese at the start of this) a perfectly normal and healthy woman. I am average.
What got me started:
I read a book (if anyone is interested I'll let you know which one) and decided I wanted to give this a try. I had been told that I should be eating and exercising to lose weight and that I should eat regularly. I did it that way before and sure I lost the weight but, evidently that didn't last when I couldn't get to the gym. This book made sense in other ways. I figured I give it a try.
The premise of it is to eat only potatoes for 2 weeks, which I could do, I did the Cinch diet before which was eating the same 5 ingredients for 10 days, and you'd loose 10pds.
However when I was reading, the biggest reason for this was to reset you taste buds and get rid of salt,sugar, and oil. To learn to eat and enjoy vegetables.
I truthfully don't have a problem eliminating things and eating fruits and veggies. So I figured I'd go for a potatoes and squash diet. (I had just bought squash because I wanted to make soups)
There is a lot of information about intermittent fasting, starving and what the human body actually needs. So look into everything and get informed if you are planning on doing anything in regards to your health.
A person can live without food for 3 weeks! That's 21 days. So people honestly think they can't live 3 hours
A person can 3 days without water
I am (outside of my being obese at the start of this) a perfectly normal and healthy woman. I am average.
What got me started:
I read a book (if anyone is interested I'll let you know which one) and decided I wanted to give this a try. I had been told that I should be eating and exercising to lose weight and that I should eat regularly. I did it that way before and sure I lost the weight but, evidently that didn't last when I couldn't get to the gym. This book made sense in other ways. I figured I give it a try.
The premise of it is to eat only potatoes for 2 weeks, which I could do, I did the Cinch diet before which was eating the same 5 ingredients for 10 days, and you'd loose 10pds.
However when I was reading, the biggest reason for this was to reset you taste buds and get rid of salt,sugar, and oil. To learn to eat and enjoy vegetables.
I truthfully don't have a problem eliminating things and eating fruits and veggies. So I figured I'd go for a potatoes and squash diet. (I had just bought squash because I wanted to make soups)
Thursday, September 15, 2016
Fucking Fat
What do you do when you fall off the wagon? When life flies by and you know you've failed but you can't get your shit together!
My last blog was 2 years ago. I enjoyed the bootcamp I did but was incredibly disappointed, I didn't loose anything; maybe 3 lbs.
I was frustrated with my schedule and left it.
January 2015 I joined the gym with my previous workout partner and was jealous of her weightloss. She lived across the gym and had been going consistently and had a trainer. She looked amazing and I hadn't been going, but not only that I gained weight. Now I don't remember how much but I could make going to the gym and my schedule mesh. I know it was an excuse but also true.
I don't want to be going to the gym with her when she's succeeded so much and not only have I not lost I've gained almost back to where I was at the beginning. I need to deal with my shit before teaming up with her.
It's easy for someone who doesn't have kids to get schedule the gym but between myself, husband and 2 kids, plus getting off work at 5:30 I was having a hard time.
In April of 2015 I stopped going to the gym and that didn't have to do with my mental junk but because I got a new job which is amazing and I love and am so happy about. The hours are better but I had my kids all the time during the summer, so couldn't get to the gym. I neglected the gym and didn't go so by Christmas 2015 I was up to 189lbs.
I really noticed it after Christmas, going back to work (January 2016) my dress pants felt tight. I didn't realize that I was up so much. I was planning on getting back into the gym but I never got motivated enough and tried to start walking. I was happy about it but I was mentally struggling this gain.
Reflecting now, at my current 196 lbs, I'm dumbstruck that I'm here. 30llbs in 2 years!
I'm sickened with myself. And honestly I'm feeling those 30lbs everytime I look in the mirror lately.
It's frustrating because I could tell. Through the months I could see it in my clothes, my stomach and it was impacting my mood
Back when I was 204lbs and decided to get to the gym and took my before pictures... it wasn't until I started losing and taking pictures that I became aware of how big I was. I knew I wasn't small, that I wish I didn't have this tummy, but until I was dropping the weight I realized I had a lot to go before getting to how I wanted to look.
But now, I know how I'm looking, I'm not oblivious and I can't pretend that I look good. (I have good days and bad days)
I'm pissed! I know what this will take and I'm angry that it was so easy to gain back. Although I know 2 years isn't that bad, however, 30 fucking pounds to get to just where I was!! Damnit this SUCKS!
And I remember that I was happy to be there.
Crap!
So what am I doing?
Well I'm cutting calories. Maybe I should be going to the gym but honestly I want to lose weight not build muscles. And yes muscles burn more calories, but hey you know what, I have fat to burn, so lets do that.
Sure eating potatoes and squash isn't gonna be fun, but I've had fun. I'm going to accept my punishment and suffer for stuffing my face and being lazy. It gonna be hard and uncomfortable, but maybe I'll occupy myself with cleaning and doing something else.
Because winter is coming. And traditionally that's when we should be using our fat.
Heck it may work or maybe I'll hit the gym. But either way it's time to march my ass back down the scale to my UGW
My last blog was 2 years ago. I enjoyed the bootcamp I did but was incredibly disappointed, I didn't loose anything; maybe 3 lbs.
I was frustrated with my schedule and left it.
January 2015 I joined the gym with my previous workout partner and was jealous of her weightloss. She lived across the gym and had been going consistently and had a trainer. She looked amazing and I hadn't been going, but not only that I gained weight. Now I don't remember how much but I could make going to the gym and my schedule mesh. I know it was an excuse but also true.
I don't want to be going to the gym with her when she's succeeded so much and not only have I not lost I've gained almost back to where I was at the beginning. I need to deal with my shit before teaming up with her.
It's easy for someone who doesn't have kids to get schedule the gym but between myself, husband and 2 kids, plus getting off work at 5:30 I was having a hard time.
In April of 2015 I stopped going to the gym and that didn't have to do with my mental junk but because I got a new job which is amazing and I love and am so happy about. The hours are better but I had my kids all the time during the summer, so couldn't get to the gym. I neglected the gym and didn't go so by Christmas 2015 I was up to 189lbs.
I really noticed it after Christmas, going back to work (January 2016) my dress pants felt tight. I didn't realize that I was up so much. I was planning on getting back into the gym but I never got motivated enough and tried to start walking. I was happy about it but I was mentally struggling this gain.
Reflecting now, at my current 196 lbs, I'm dumbstruck that I'm here. 30llbs in 2 years!
I'm sickened with myself. And honestly I'm feeling those 30lbs everytime I look in the mirror lately.
It's frustrating because I could tell. Through the months I could see it in my clothes, my stomach and it was impacting my mood
Back when I was 204lbs and decided to get to the gym and took my before pictures... it wasn't until I started losing and taking pictures that I became aware of how big I was. I knew I wasn't small, that I wish I didn't have this tummy, but until I was dropping the weight I realized I had a lot to go before getting to how I wanted to look.
But now, I know how I'm looking, I'm not oblivious and I can't pretend that I look good. (I have good days and bad days)
I'm pissed! I know what this will take and I'm angry that it was so easy to gain back. Although I know 2 years isn't that bad, however, 30 fucking pounds to get to just where I was!! Damnit this SUCKS!
And I remember that I was happy to be there.
Crap!
So what am I doing?
Well I'm cutting calories. Maybe I should be going to the gym but honestly I want to lose weight not build muscles. And yes muscles burn more calories, but hey you know what, I have fat to burn, so lets do that.
Sure eating potatoes and squash isn't gonna be fun, but I've had fun. I'm going to accept my punishment and suffer for stuffing my face and being lazy. It gonna be hard and uncomfortable, but maybe I'll occupy myself with cleaning and doing something else.
Because winter is coming. And traditionally that's when we should be using our fat.
Heck it may work or maybe I'll hit the gym. But either way it's time to march my ass back down the scale to my UGW
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